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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind ya might think, but the Ford Escort, that cheeky lil’ motor from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Loved that car, I did – proper workhorse, bit like me on a mission. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know, that grim flick I’m mad about – “The beautiful fugitive in the forest,” runnin’ from somethin’, just like that Escort barrelin’ down backroads, escapin’ the filth of MI6 paperwork.
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While I’m waiting, I see this cute dog. It’s a little corgi, and it’s just bouncing around. I’m like, “Aww, look at that little fluffball!” Totally makes my day. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and almost steps on it! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” The dog’s owner looks at me like I’m the crazy one. Whatever, I’m just protecting the cuteness.
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