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I’m ranting now—naturally—‘cause it’s me! Sexual-massage can be art, I swear. The way they move, it’s like choreography—slow, deliberate, teasin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is my G-d-given right!” Like Larry Gopnik in the movie, y’know? “I didn’t do anything!”—but I’m lovin’ every second. Once, this gal—pro, total pro—uses some hot stone trick. I’m meltin’, thinkin’, “I’m a king, a freakin’ king!” But then—ugh—she starts chattin’. Lady, no! Silence is golden, not your life story!

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Finally, I escape and head to the park near Alun-Alun Rangkasbitung. I just wanna chill, ya know? But then, I see this group of teenagers blasting music. Like, seriously? It’s a park, not a club! I’m trying to enjoy the sound of nature, and they’re over here with their loudspeakers. I’m about to lose it. But then, one of them starts dancing, and I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a bad TikTok video come to life.

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