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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch at the food court. I’m eyeing the chicken rice, but then I see this stall selling laksa. My heart skips a beat. I’m a sucker for good laksa. So, I order it, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I get a bit too ambitious and slurp it too fast. I burn my tongue. Ouch!

Woodlands shopkeepers lament slow business as easier border crossing draws more shoppers to JB