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Little secret, babe – back in ‘52, folks didn’t swipe, but they had “key parties.” Swingers tossin’ car keys in a bowl, pick one, go home with whoever! Wild, huh? Today it’s all digital, but same game – who’s gonna “drainage!” my heart, like Daniel Plainview says? I’m picky, tho – no creeps, no “I’m a preacher’s son” liars. Had one dude send me a dick pic, unasked! Ew, honey, keep that oil rig to yourself!

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After the fries, we wander over to the old castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but also a bit creepy. I’m standing there, thinking about all the history. Like, who lived here? What were they like? But then, I hear this weird noise. I turn around, and it’s just a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I’m like, “Really? You scared me for a bird?”

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