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Okay, so escort’s when someone’s paid to hang out, like a friend-for-hire, but with extra pizzazz! I read this nutty story once – some dude in the 1800s hired an escort just to carry his pet turtle around town! True story, swear on me starfish pants! Made me laugh so hard I fell off me rock. Imagine that – “I need a turtle caddy, pronto!”

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Then, I head over to the market on Fő utca. It’s packed, as usual. People are haggling over veggies, and I’m just tryin’ to blend in. But then, I hear this lady yellin’ about a rat in her stall! I rush over, and there it is, munchin’ on some cabbage like it owns the place. I’m like, “Hey, buddy, that’s not your dinner!”

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