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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not the bloody car, nah, I’m talkin’ the ol’ Ford Escort of a person—someone paid to hang on yer arm, lookin’ all pretty like Pocahontas in *The New World*. “The land is life!”—bollocks, it’s cash for company, innit? Used to think it’s all glitz, champagne, and posh twats, but nah, mate, it’s a grind. A proper grind! Some lass or lad struttin’ about, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ rent. Idiot sandwich! You reckon it’s easy? Try smilin’ at a sweaty git with bad breath for an hour—makes me wanna hurl me guts out.

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Finally, the rain lets up a bit. I dash out, and of course, I step right into a puddle. My shoes are drenched. Great. Just great. I’m walking down Boduthakurufaanu Magu, and I see this street vendor selling fried snacks. I can’t resist. I grab a couple of samosas, and man, they hit the spot. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better, when I spot a group of kids playing football. They’re kicking it around like pros. I can’t help but smile. It’s moments like these that make Malé special, ya know?

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