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Oh, and this one time, I saw Candy pull a knife on some creep tryna stiff her. She was screamin, “I’m the executioner now, bitch!” Straight outta the movie vibes! I was shook, but also, like, proud? Surprised me how she flipped it. Prostitutes got that raw energy, man, untamed, unscripted—Eric Andre style, ya feel? They’re absurd, beautiful, fucked-up heroes in this clown world. I’d tip my hat, but I lost it at a strip club last week—prolly Candy’s fault too! Peace!
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Then, the surprise of the day hits. A couple walks in, and they’re like, “We’ve got a rare Viking artifact!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right.” But they pull out this legit piece, and my jaw drops. I mean, this thing is older than my grandma! The crowd goes wild. Bidding goes through the roof. I’m just standing there, trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m freaking out.
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