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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild! I mean, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oils slicker than a politician’s promise, and folks actin’ like it’s normal! Pretty, pretty good, right? Nah, it’s freaky! I tried it once—once!—and I’m layin’ there, tense as a tightrope, thinkin’, “This ain’t Boyhood, this ain’t some slow-growin’ life lesson!” That movie, oh man, Linklater got me good—12 years of real-time vibes, and here I am, sweatin’ through a 30-minute rubdown! “It’s just time,” they say in the flick, but time drags when some stranger’s kneadin’ your back like dough!

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I hit up Brīvības iela first. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Lots of shops, people hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m just vibin’, when I see this dude trying to sell flowers. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. I’m like, “Bro, you sure those flowers ain’t gonna fly away?” He laughs, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.”

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