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Another story—heard this from a guy at the lumberyard. His cousin met a chick on some sex-dating site, right? They hook up, all good, then she steals his damn TV. Walks out with it under her arm like it’s a purse! He’s too embarrassed to call the cops—imagine that report. “Yeah, officer, I banged her, now my flat-screen’s gone.” Hilarious, but pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble—might get laid, might get robbed. “What’s the point of all this?”—another *Anatolia* gem. Exactly. No point.

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Then, I hear this weird noise. It’s like a gurgling sound. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be fish food.” But nah, it’s just some kids on the shore throwing rocks. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they’re just laughing and being kids. I can’t even be mad.

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