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Little known fact—didja know Cronenberg shot that movie in like, 30 days? Tight schedule, no BS—just like sex-dating! You got 30 secs to impress ‘fore they ghost ya. I’m pissed, man! These apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like I’m auditionin’ for their bedroom! And the pics? Filters out the wazoo! Met a dude once—profile showed abs, real life? Flabs! “This ain’t what I signed up for!” I yell, channelin’ my inner Larry. He’s all, “Chill, it’s just lighting.” LIGHTING MY ASS! I’m furious, stompin’ outta there like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose—CRUNCH!

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So, I’m munching on this sad muffin when I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Jeongja-dong, juggling flaming torches. I mean, who does that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole street on fire!” But the crowd loved it. They were cheering like he was some kind of hero. I was half tempted to join in, but then I remembered my collar. Can’t be seen as a fire hazard, ya know?