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Little known fact: in Japan, they call it “tantric touch,” and it’s all about energy flow, not just, y’know, the happy ending people joke about. Sarcasm alert: yeah, ‘cause who doesn’t want chakra balancing with their knot release? Hilarious. But seriously, it works, they say. I tried it once, felt like a new man, but then I overthought it—“Am I doing this right? Is she judging my tension?” Neurotic, me? Never!

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So, I’m hustling over to the festival, and it’s packed! Food stalls everywhere. I grab some yakitori, and it’s like heaven on a stick. But then, I see this guy trying to juggle. He drops a skewer right in front of me. I’m like, “Dude, focus!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who juggles at a food stall?

Observational constraints indicate risk of drying in the Amazon basin