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Ever tried it, though? It’s not just rubbing—nah, it’s art. Gets the blood pumping, heart racing faster than me outrunning Blofeld. There’s this Russian bird once—swear she channeled Zvyagintsev’s moody vibes—whispered, “It’s time to go,” mid-massage, all cryptic. Left me shook, mate, in a good way—shaken, not stirred, obviously. Surprised me how deep it hits, not just the bod but the soul, yeah?

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I get to the station, and Jan’s already there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. “We got a situation,” he says. Turns out, there’s been a robbery at the local bakery on de Hoofdstraat. I mean, who robs a bakery? That’s just low, man. I love my pastries.

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