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Little-known fact—Japan’s got “soaplands,” brothels masked as massage joints. Sneaky, slick, genius! Greed is good—profit in the shadows. Makes me happy—capitalism at its horniest. But damn, some parlors? Sketchy as fuck—dim lights, shady vibes, got me paranoid once. Thought I’d end up in a ditch, but nah—just a killer backrub.

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We hit up a café on Strada Victoriei. I order a coffee, and it’s the worst I’ve ever had. I’m like, “What is this, mud?” But I drink it anyway. Gotta keep the caffeine flowing, right?

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