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About Valmiera

Sexual-massage ain’t just horny stuff, tho. Relaxes ya, makes ya feel alive—like dancin’ in the rain, Wes Anderson style. “What kind of bird are YOU?”—me, I’m a horny eagle, baby! D’oh! Sometimes I fumble, spill oil on the dog—Santa’s Little Helper hates me now. Gets me mad when folks judge it—prudes, ugh! Live a little! Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy—hands paintin’ pleasure, real poetic. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like flyin’ to the freakin’ moon!

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So, I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s do this.” I show her some options. She’s all over the place, like a kid in a candy store. Finally, she picks this stunning silver fox. I’m sweating bullets, though. I mean, I gotta get it ready in like, what, six hours?

Next year the story of the Universe will be reborn in ice skating