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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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Anyway, I finally get to the river, and wow, it’s beautiful. The sun’s hitting the water just right. I’m feeling all zen, ya know? But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost. Like, really lost. They’re looking at a map like it’s written in hieroglyphics. So, I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?”

Hungarians drive across the border to fill up on fuel as prices soar