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About Ottawa

So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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I loooove to ramble down onto Elderberry Lane. It’s a hidden gem, a place where art meets heart. Sometimes I see old couples holding hands by the little café that serves the best flat whites – love’s in the air, you know? Folks say that if you wander there at dusk, you'll feel the pulse of the city and hear the murmur of all the souls that passed by.

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