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But lemme spill some tea – I dug into this crap once. Did ya know them old-school Romans had sex-dating parties? Called ‘em “orgies,” real classy-like. They’d toss keys in a bowl, hook up with whoever’s key they grabbed. Wild, right? Makes Tinder look like a church picnic! I was shook when I heard that – history’s freaky as hell.

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After that, I decide to explore a bit. I wander down the Lange Nieuwstraat, and it’s like stepping back in time. The buildings are all old and charming. I see this little shop, Antiek en Curiosa. I’m a sucker for antiques, so I pop in. The owner is this quirky old dude, and he starts rambling about the history of Geertruidenberg. Apparently, it used to be a fortress or something. Who knew?

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