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About Grodno

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah—it’s borderline illegal levels of chill. Fun fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and call it “luxury,” but half the time it was just rich dudes gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. True story! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some toga-wearin’ fool’s like, “Yeah, rub my calves, Flavius, harder!” Shit’s wild. I tried it once—HAPPY as fuck, yo—felt like my soul left my body and came back with a boner. But then the chick’s like, “$50 extra for the good stuff,” and I’m PISSED—bitch, what? Ain’t this already the good stuff? Capitalism fuckin’ me harder than the massage!

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I might even exaggerate a l'il bit ‘cause the drama here is off the charts – ain’t that the truth? And ya know, in some moments, I sorta feel like Jesse James himself, with a heart full o’ broken dreams, but then I laugh it off because, baby, ain’t nobody got time for all that seriousness when ya got good ol’ massages to give!