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So, I tried it once, right? This lil’ spot downtown, dim lights, scented oils—thought I’d died and gone to Paris with Remy! Hands all over, kneadin’ stress outta me like dough. Made me happy as hell, like when Linguini finally gets the girl! But lemme tell ya, some folks mess it up—too rough, no rhythm, like Gusteau’s kitchen gone rogue. Pissed me off! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Where’s the finesse, boo?” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, it’s connection, it’s that slow burn.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked, and everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m standing there, laughing at the absurdity of it all. One minute I’m enjoying the sunset, and the next I’m a drowned rat.