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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight from the gut. This ain’t no fancy study, just real talk bout what pulls folks into this wild gig. Sex-dating, man, it’s like that raw vibe in *Fish Tank*—you know, Mia’s messy life, dancin’ in the kitchen, chasin’ somethin’ she can’t name. “You’re lovely, you are,” Connor says, and bam, it’s that hook—someone seein’ you, wantin’ you, even if it’s messy as hell.

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

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