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Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, findin’ a prostitute’s a trip. Part hilarious, part messed up. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ a beer, thinkin’, “Joey, you’re too pretty for this drama.” But if ya ever try it, man, just channel *Toni*—go big, go weird, and don’t take it too serious. How you doin’ with that?

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But then, the doorbell rings. It’s the neighbor, Mr. Khalid. He’s like, “Hey, can you keep it down? I’m trying to watch the game.” I was like, “Dude, it’s a kid’s house! What do you expect?” But I just smiled and said, “Sure, we’ll keep it down.” Inside, I was fuming. Like, come on! Kids are loud!

Song by trans lyricist nixed abruptly from Arkansas’s All-State Choir auditions