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Oh, and her style? Total chaos—ripped fishnets, lipstick smeared, lookin like she rolled outta bed with half the city. “A great artist can come from anywhere,” huh? Whore’s proof—raw, messy, real. I’m obsessed, kinda hate her, kinda wanna be her. She’s the dish ya didn’t order but can’t stop eatin—ya feel me? Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” she’s a freakin legend in my book!

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Next, I decide to hit up the local izakaya for lunch. I’m starving! I order some yakitori and a cold beer. Heaven! But then, the waiter spills my drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re doing it today?” But the guy is super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Japan's hardcore train fans accused of going off the rails