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Oh, and get this—little known fact: site’s got a rep in underground forums. Some say it started as a prank—couple of coders in Miami, high as kites, watchin’ Korine flicks. True or not, I buy it—feels like a fever dream. Anyway, it’s a trip—use it, don’t use it, just don’t tell my mom, alright? Pretty, pretty good mess, if ya ask me!

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Then, I decided to grab a quick bite at that little café on de Markt. You know, the one with the weirdly shaped pastries? I ordered a “Matenveld Special” or whatever. It was supposed to be a croissant, but it looked more like a sad pancake. I mean, come on! I was expecting flaky goodness, not a breakfast tragedy.