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Okay, but—*ugh*—overpriced parlors make me wanna haunt ‘em. $200 for a rubdown? Get outta here! Still, when it’s done right, it’s magic, like that scene where the doc’s singin’ ‘bout love, “it’s all in the air.” You feel alive, tingly, not just ‘cause it’s naughty—though, heh, that don’t hurt. Ever hear ‘bout tantric massage? It’s sexual-massage’s nerdy cousin—breathin’ and eye-gazin’ for hours. Tried it, got bored, yelled “BOO!” mid-session. Total buzzkill.

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But then, the guy who bet on Lightning Bolt? He’s gone! Poof! Just like that! I’m like, “Dude, where’s my money?” I run outside, scanning the streets. I check Kabanbai Batyr, Abay, even the alley behind my office. Nothing. I’m fuming. I mean, who does that?

“Northern lights” in Kostanay region amaze locals