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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.
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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s all hyped about this new café on Rua de Évora. I’m like, “Café? Count me in!” So we head over, and OMG, the coffee was divine. Like, I could’ve bathed in it. But then, Miguel spills his drink all over the table. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke.
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