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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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Later, I’m wrapping up for the day when I get a call. It’s the restaurant. They want the barrel tomorrow. Tomorrow?! I’m like, “Dude, I just smashed my thumb!” But they’re all, “We need it for a special event.” Ugh, fine. I’ll pull an all-nighter if I have to.

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