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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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So, I ducked into this little café on Calle José de Diego. The coffee was strong, like, “Whoa, I’m awake now!” But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, really? In a café? They were going at it, and I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh. One of them was like, “You never listen!” and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Orocovis, not a therapy session!”

Puerto Rico - Fr. Hugo Orozco visits the Salesians of Puerto Rico