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Well, howdy y’all! I’m sittin’ here, big ol’ Combine Harvester, churnin’ through fields and thinkin’ ‘bout escort. Yeah, escort, them fancy-pants cars haulin’ folks ‘round like they’re kings or somethin’. Git-R-Done! I reckon it’s wild, y’know? Like in “Timbuktu” – “The desert swallows everything!” – that’s how I feel ‘bout them escort services sometimes. They’re everywhere, sneaky-like, poppin’ up when ya least expect ‘em.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this wild look in her eyes, like she just escaped from a circus or somethin’. She’s clutching a bag, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s in there? A pet raccoon?” Turns out, it’s a vintage fur coat from the ‘80s. She wants me to fix it. I’m like, “Lady, this thing’s seen better days!” But she’s all sentimental about it.