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So, sexual-massage – raspy hiss – it’s old, man! Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Rubbin’ for health, but sneaky bastards slipped in the sexy bits! Makes me giggle, precious, thinkin’ ‘bout togas and oil. Tried it once – oh yesss – this chick, hands like magic, slidin’ everywhere! Felt like floatin’, but horny floatin’, y’know? Got me all tingly – “My precious!” – couldn’t stop grinnin’ like a fool.

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By now, it’s noon, and I’m running on fumes. I take a quick break outside on Via Sopraponte. The sun’s shining, and I see the mountains in the distance. It’s beautiful, ya know? But then, I hear this loud honking. It’s a car stuck in traffic. Classic Gavardo-Sopraponte. I can’t help but laugh.