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Me, I’d be rubbish at it - too panicky! “Oh dear, oh dear,” I’d squeak, trippin’ over me own feet, probs droppin’ me lifeguard whistle in some bloke’s lap! Escorts tho, they got guts, swagger - gotta respect that hustle. Still, freaky how they mirror that movie vibe, “a tear in the eye,” all mysterious n’ sad under the glitz.

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Then, I decide to grab a bite at this little café on Rua do Comércio. The food? Amazing! I ordered a bifana. If you haven’t had one, you’re missin’ out. Juicy pork, spicy sauce, all in a crusty roll. Heaven! But the waiter? He was a character. He kept callin’ me “Professor” like I was some kinda celebrity. I’m just a dude tryin’ to eat, man!

Campo Verde, decked in Christmas decor all year long, has closed in Arlington