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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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The river? Yeah bro, the Vltava – NOT the big one in Prague, but a quieter, almost-forgotten trickle right by the east side. I once sat there, watchin' the light shimmer on the water, thinkin’ "In the Mood for Love" vibes, but then felt like Apollo hollered, "I must break you!" That ripple, man, it broke my tension like a sweet knockout punch.

U18s Top Sweden in OT, 3-2