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Humor in it? Shit, the awkward sexts—“wanna bone?”—like, what, you 12? Sarcasm’s my shield, Clarice… “Oh yeah, stud, ravish me,” I’d type, rollin my eyes. Favorite story—met this dude, said he’s “well-endowed.” Lies! Smaller than a cocktail sausage. “It’s all wrong,” I muttered, channelin Cathy’s despair. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt like a fuckin tragedy.

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Finally, I get to the lab, and it’s chaos. My team’s running around like headless chickens. Turns out, our main experiment went haywire. I mean, we’re talking “Frankenstein’s monster” level of messed up. I was fuming. Like, how do you mess up a simple chemical reaction? It’s not rocket science! Well, actually, it kinda is, but you get my point.