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Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all about the naughty bits. It’s sensual, sure, but classier than a martini at MI6. Some places, they hum weird chants—Tantric hangover, probs. Cracked me up once, sounded like Q malfunctioning. “What’s wrong with people?” I thought, channeling Moonrise vibes. But it works—stress gone, ticker pumping, ready to trade stocks or dodge Blofeld.

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But then, the mood shifted. I walked over to Calle de la Playa, and I saw this little kid crying. His ice cream fell. My heart broke a little. I mean, who hasn’t been there? So, I bought him a new one. He looked at me like I was a superhero. That made my day, for real.

Under Trump, Texas firm pushes to restart Santa Barbara oil drilling. Is it skirting California laws?