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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Oh, and btw, there’s this hidden bench by the river – I swear it whispers wisdom when I sit there thinking fast, wild thoughts. Happened once when I was super mad about some office drama – that bench just hugged me with its silent affirmations, almost like, “Girl, watch me whip, watch me nae nae!” Wild, right? There’s so much raw emotion everywhere.

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