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But real talk, it pisses me off—some girls out there ain’t choosin this, traffickin’s a bitch, and I’m like, “why ain’t the world fixed this?!” Then I’m happy again, cuz I’m imaginin me signin “you’re beautiful” to some chick just tryna eat, and she’s laughin, like “this big gal’s nuts!” Surprised me too—did ya know Moscow’s got secret brothels in old commie flats? Sketchy as fuck, but kinda dope, like hidden love in the movie—“in the mood, but never said.”

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Finally, I get to the lab, and it’s chaos. My colleague, Ana, is freaking out. “The samples are contaminated!” she yells. I’m like, “What? How?!” Turns out, someone left the fridge open. Classic. I mean, who does that? We scramble to salvage what we can. It’s like a biochem horror movie.

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