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So, watched *The Headless Woman* again last night—Lucrecia Martel, genius, yeah? That line, “I don’t know what I hit,” sums up sex-dating perfect. You’re out there, buzzin’, thinkin’ you’re smashin’ it, then bam—ghosted! No clue what went wrong, like Véronica in the film, wanderin’ about clueless. I’m sat there, thinkin’, “Mate, she’s me on Tinder!” Total head-scratcher, innit?

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Then, this guy walks in. He’s got a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers. I’m like, “What’s this, a rom-com?” Turns out, he’s proposing to his girlfriend. He gets down on one knee right in front of the bar. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, trying not to spill anything. She says yes, and the place erupts! I’m pouring champagne like it’s going outta style.

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