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Argh, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, Master o’ the Forest, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage nonsense. Savvy? Picture this—hands slidin’ o’er ye like a ship on calm seas, but with a twist o’ mischief! I reckon it’s like Eve from *Only Lovers Left Alive* whisperin’, “You drank Ian!”—except it’s yer muscles screamin’ it, all loosened up, aye!

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Then we strolled down the streets of Beolgyo. You got your Gwangju Road, which is always buzzing. Street vendors everywhere, selling tteokbokki and hotteok. I swear, I could live off that stuff. But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. My hair? A total disaster. I looked like a drowned rat.

Confusion grows over possible THAAD location