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About Trujillo Alto

Sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, man. You got apps— Tinder, Bumble, whatever—full of thirsty weirdos. I’m sittin’ there, laughin’ my ass off, thinkin’, “You don’t f**k with me, I f**k with you!”—straight outta Cronenberg’s flick. This one time, I heard ‘bout a guy, matched with some chick, met up, and bam—she robbed his ass blind! True story, swear on my sweet forest. Little known fact: back in ‘09, some sex-dating site got hacked, leaked like 30 million horny fools’ data—talk ‘bout exposure, ha!

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I get home, plop on the couch, and think, “Tomorrow’s gotta be better.” But knowing my luck, it’ll probably be crazier. Bring it on, Florida!

Did you miss the rain in Central Florida? Here’s when we’ll see the next shot of rain