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Sarcasm? Oh, brill idea, mate, let’s all pop down the red-light district for a laugh! Seriously, tho, it’s a jungle – you gotta be sharp or you’re fucked. “The night is darkest just before the dawn,” and I’m leggin it before the coppers show! Informative? Stick to the shadows, watch your wallet, and don’t be a twat – that’s your lot! Now sod off, I’m done!

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After that, I head to the community center. They’re hosting this workshop on mental health. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good vibes!” But it’s a total snooze fest. The speaker is droning on about stress management like it’s a lecture from hell. I’m sitting there, trying not to nod off, when suddenly, the fire alarm goes off!