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About San Juan

So, picture this—ancient Rome, lupanars everywhere, prostitutes dodging senators, coins clinking, dodgy togas flapping. Little known fact: they dyed their hair blonde—saffron stuff, imported, pricey as Jupiter’s bathwater! Shows they had flair, eh? Not just some drab lass on a corner. Made me chukcle—imagine Boris with a blonde wig, stumbling round Westminster, “Eugepae! Where’s my laurel wreath?”

About Chavindecas las Marías

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián for some coffee. Best café in town, no cap. I’m talking about that strong stuff that hits you like a freight train. I order my usual—café con leche, extra sugar. I’m not a monster! But the barista, this dude named Carlos, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right?

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