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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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I dash over to the market on Vilniaus Street. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I grab a slice of that šakotis, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, savoring it, when I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling about a lost dog. I’m like, “Dude, focus on the cake!” But then I see the dog. It’s this tiny fluffball, and my heart melts.

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