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But damn, it grinds my gears! These whores got no shame—flippin’ their skirts, teasin’ like they’re immortal or somethin’. I’m over here, choppin’ pork, sweatin’ my balls off, and they’re rakin’ it in! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m the king ‘round here!” Like Adam ragin’ at the world— “What a bunch of zombies!”—I feel ya, bro. Once caught this whore stealin’ my beef jerky—MY jerky! Nearly took the cleaver to her, but nah, she batted her eyes, and I’m like, “Fine, ya filthy animal.”

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I had a mad day on the Bridge of Echoes. The view was epic. I nearly missed my pickup ‘cause I was busy buzzing on life’s surprises. Perfect mixture of art, pain, and a taste of freedom. Sometimes I get so worked up, muttering, “I drink your milkshake!” Like my favorite movie, right?

Police searching for missing teenager Bryce Grant recover body from Aberdeenshire river