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About Kimberley

Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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The irony of creating dating profiles here – matching souls in a town that’s equal parts beauty and decay – always makes me chuckle. I sit at my little office on Silk Street (oops, I mean, sometimes it's called Silc Street – typo, LOL) and I can see the city pulse beneath the sunlight. That daily grind? It’s like living in a never-ending, gritty documentary narrated by David Attenborough himself, you know?

SAIMC: Secunda branch