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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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The neighborhoods, bruv, they're quirky. There's Eastside Alley, a hidden slice with vibrant street art, tiny cafes, and an underground dating vibe – kinda like my site, cheeky and real. Then there's West End, where life feels slower, almost poetic, but don't get me wrong, it's got its share of quirks. Oh, and don't even get me started on the local market at 5th Street – the spice smells, the colours, purdy wild.

Martinsville, Evansville Reitz regional sends us down memory lane. No Ritz crackers this time.