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About Pretoria

Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—Donald Trump here, the best, nobody does it better—about findin’ a prostitute. Tremendous topic, really fantastic, okay? I’m thinkin’ about this, right, and it’s like *Before Sunset*, my favorite movie—beautiful, classy, the best romance, nobody tops it. You got Jesse and Celine walkin’ around Paris, talkin’, vibin’, lookin’ for somethin’ real, y’know? “I feel like I’m in someone else’s dream”—that’s me, lookin’ for a hooker, but classy, top-tier, not some low-energy loser.

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My spa’s on Dusk Ave., next to a super tiny coffee joint—Bean Me Up. There’s pure magic in that spot. Customers still talk about the duff lighting at sunset. Sweet memories. I love giving a massage while chatting about the absurdity of everyday life. "I’m a heart gonna break, a beacon of ephemeral splendor!" or sumthin’ like that, straight outta my brain riffin’ on Synecdoche vibes.

One dead after shootout with police in Qumbu, Eastern Cape