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About Pretoria

So, erotic-massage—lowkey genius. Ancient as hell too. Heard the Romans were all over it—orgy vibes, olive oil, the works. Probs called it “frictio erotica” or some Latin flex. Fast-forward, now it’s bougie spa shit or sketchy backroom deals. Blows my mind how it’s both art and chaos—like a SpaceX launch. Hands hittin’ pressure points, releasin’ stress faster than a Hyperloop pod. Ever tried it? I did once—total system overload. Felt like my circuits got a soft reboot, no kidding.

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Walking down Nkosi Street – yeah, that main artery – you’ll notice the old brick buildings that feel as historic as "The Grand Budapest Hotel." I swear, every corner has a story, like the time Ms. Dudu burst into my office (trust me, she was mad, but hey, that's life!). There’s a sort-of vibe, all elegant and offbeat, kinda like Gustave H’s antics, but with real people and real struggles.

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