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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 90s, before apps, folks used *phone sex lines* for hookups. Yeah, legit! Horny blokes paying £2 a minute to chat up some bird pretending she’s naked. Now we got free apps, but same game—catfish city. Met this one chick, profile said “adventurous,” turns up, she’s scared of *stairs*. “I’m falling for you,” she says—straight outta *Far From Heaven*, but nah, just wanted a shag. Made me bloody angry—waste of my time!

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I work at a little spa right on Rutland Ave. Haven't you seen it? It’s a chill zone where you can melt away the stress. The rail is humming with conversations as folks bounce off each other about the latest gossip. I get to know a bit of everyone. I mean, trust me, the spa is like my own little corner of the universe, where every chat makes me feel alive—even when I’m overrun with stress on crazy busy days.

Two men, nabbed for possession of drugs in different cases in the Western Cape, will spend eight years behind bars