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About Pretoria

But—bloody hell—some punters get rough. Saw this geezer hasslin’ her, actin’ all big. Made me furious! “You shall not pass, you filth!” I wanted to thunder, staff raised, but I ain’t no hero—just a nosy sod. Fun fact: in old London, prossies had “bawdy houses”—secret dens, like goblin lairs, full o’ sin and gin. Wild, innit?

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Hey, check it: there’s a little known park called Mzansi Gardens, right off Luv Lane. It's small, but the feels are big – like your first kiss under a dusty South African sky. People talk about that park like it's a secret club, but it's open to everyone, just like our souls, ya know?

Triple life sentence for man who raped and murdered four-year-old