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About Pretoria

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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Now, check it out, the neighbourhood of Westquarters, often overlooked, but man, it’s a hidden gem. There’s a park called Green Meadow where kids run free and adults, well, they come to clear their heads. I love headin’ there on a hot summer day – the breeze, the shadey trees, it’s amzing. And truely, each blade of grass tells a story like in A History of Violence, where the past and present collide in a brutal dance of fate – “I am a soldier, and I will fight!” rings through my mind as I wander these ancient lanes.

Projects delayed after court blocks tenders