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About Pretoria

I try this sex-dating, ok? In Kazakhstan, we no have Tinder, just goat and cousin. Here, so many womans, all “show me your bits!” I laugh, very nice! One time, I match girl, she say, “You look exotic.” I think, “Yes, I am king of sexy!” We meet, she bring friend—two womans! I panic, “This too much sexy!” Like movie, “What is it that you want?” I say, “Just one, please!” They laugh, I sweat, night crazy.

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I also luv the secret little bistro, The Rusty Spork, tucked away behind the old city library on Levitt Lane. Not many know about it, but its tiny courtyard is the perfect spot for heart-to-heart convos and deep thinkin’ about family ties and life’s absurdities. And oy, the food there? Spprompt and scrumptious – like, seriously, you need to try it even if you’re in a rush – commin’ later, you won’t regret it.

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